Last week I was hit with an immense hatred of the new Axe “Women Just Keep Getting Hotter” commercial. I know that it’s supposed to be funny, but it led to a whole lot of not-funny thoughts in my head. I’m hoping that by writing about it here it can stop boiling my veins when I think about it.
Here is the commercial I’m talking about-
This video really rubs me the wrong way. I know that it’s targeted to men to sell them a product. But when someone makes a sweeping statement about humans or humans that fit into your particular group, you can’t help but take notice. I identify with being a woman. They are talking about me.
Don’t women have enough to deal with without this crap? How many more reasons do we need to starve ourselves and try to harness our beauty from the wrong direction?
We Will Literally Die To Be That Skinny
The first thing I didn’t like about this commercial was that “hotter” seemed to also indicate “skinnier,” which is nothing new. We get that all the time, unless a commercial is specifically selling something to “curvy” women. But this is not okay. It’s going to happen for years still I’m sure, but at least we can notice how messed up it is.
Eating disorders are more likely to result in death than any other mental illness, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. I remember hearing that when the U.S. media gets more prevalent in other areas of the world, the rate of eating disorders goes up. I’m not sure how true that was or if it’s still true.
I try to be on top of this in my own brain because honestly, the idea that “I’ll be happier if I’m skinnier” comes up in my head more than I’d care to admit. And usually it is rather magical thinking. “As soon as I’m skinnier, I’ll be really confident and a better singer and I’ll have a better stage presence and I’ll have less anxiety” and other such things. With commercials like this, which only broadcast blatantly what other media puts out there more subtly, it’s no secret where my brain gets that notion from.
Being Led the Wrong Way to Happy Town
From the dawn of media’s conception there was money to be made. The weight loss industry is huge, super huge. When I worked unsavory writing jobs, some of what I would be asked to do is write fake testimonials about weight loss products. I have a hard time believing that people would buy half the crap I was supposed to write about, but still, they do. And why?
Feeling happy. We all want to do it. How do we do it? We watch other people sometimes. We are born imitators. We learn language by observing, we learn habits and patterns from observing, we learn how one lives a life by observing. We mix our natural urges and personalities into what we think is going to make us feel good.
So when we see commercials where the skinny smooth and makeup-ed people are the happiest, we might want to starve ourselves and buy some things. And if we were being shown reality, then it would work!
Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh it kills. Cuz I know I’m a mess he don’t want to clean up. I’ve got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold. Hunger hurts but starving works, when it costs too much to love. -Fiona Apple
Why Doesn’t It Work?
I don’t know about you, but I have definitely thought that obtaining some thing or being in some place would lead me to feel a certain way. Usually it’s the opposite. If I feel confident or motivated, then it seems that no matter what I’m wearing or doing, those feelings get put to good use when I stay in line with my values and do things that matter to me.
But if I feel desperate or insecure and am craving something to make it go away, the story unfolds differently. It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing my cutest outfit or if I pulled out the old make up and put it on- I’m left with the same feeling if not worse. Feelings don’t change by getting stuff or looking a certain way; at least not for long.
Wise Words From a Super Model
This is a video by Cameron Russel. It’s a TED talk and I was rather impressed by it. In it, she talks about the experience of being a model and the way that the image is constructed. Upon seeing the Axe commercial, I must admit that I thought more about the images I was being fed than about the experience of the women filling them. Her words were quite uplifting and sobering.
If you ever are wondering “If I have thinner thighs and shinier hair, will I be happier?” You just need to meet a group of models. Because they have the thinnest thighs and the shiniest hair and the coolest clothes and they are the most physically insecure women probably on the planet.
- Cameron Russell
How to Enjoy Life
Obviously I don’t know the answer to this question..but at least in regard to silly commercials that highlight a specific idea of feminine beauty, I have an idea of where I can start. The most I can do right now is to just simply acknowledge that it’s a specific idea of feminine beauty. That it’s an idea that does not work for everyone and that is not even fully human, in the natural every-day way that most of us experience our humanness.
These pictures are not pictures of me, they are constructions. They are constructions by a group of professionals, by hair stylists and make up artists and photographers and stylists and all of their assistants and pre-production and post-production..and they build this. That’s not me.
- Cameron Russel
I must say that after making this post, I feel better about the whole thing. I feel more grounded and connected to the world, realizing that I’m not alone and that people are always waking up to and sharing the awareness of the massive amounts of garbage we see each day. Someday I feel that even our idea of gender will be truer to the human reality than to the boxes that work well for corporations. Thank you for reading!
Do you ever get thoughts in your head that seem to come from the media you engage in but may not agree with?
Do you spend any time telling the beautiful people around you that you think they are beautiful, even if they don’t think so?
Do you feel beautiful sometimes even if you are not going to be in an Axe commercial?